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Cybersex From 6 Years Ago Part 1

October 10, 2009 by nick

In an effort to keep the content rolling, here is a cybersex prank that Pete & Nick played on some unsuspecting AOL Chat Room Perverts years ago. In many ways this was their first comedic collaboration. My only regret is that bike_chick.jpg seems to have vanished from the internet. It was clearly an advertisement which depicted a lovely African American woman on an exercise bike smiling encouragingly at the camera.

That’s probably more ceremony than the following deserves. Pete and Nick’s screen name is censored in the interest of preserving the possibility of future pranks. In this episode, loserkid114 gets more than he bargained for!

loserkid114: hey
*****: HELLO!
loserkid114: u said u were desperate for sex?
*****: BOY AM I
loserkid114: lol
loserkid114: i can help if u want me to
*****: Okay well you have to meet my standards
*****: Mind answering a few questions?
loserkid114: ok
*****: QUESTION 1
*****: How old are you?
loserkid114: 22
*****: QUESTION 2
*****: What is your favorite sexual scenario?
loserkid114: doesnt matter
*****: YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ANSWER
*****: Fine
*****: I’ll let it slide
*****: Question 3:
loserkid114: ok
loserkid114: lol
*****: Do you love me?
loserkid114: no
loserkid114: i barely no u
*****: Sexy
*****: Question 4
*****: How bad do you want to fuck
loserkid114: im not desperate but it would be nice
*****: ok well u can start then
loserkid114: ok
loserkid114: what do u want
*****: I wanted to ask questions
*****: now you get what you want
*****: steaming hot vagina
loserkid114: well i want u to start then
loserkid114: if thats ok?
loserkid114: r u there?
*****: i am here
*****: I’d rather if you started
*****: I am bashful
loserkid114: ok where do u want it
*****: in a hole
loserkid114: ok
loserkid114: we walk into my room after a night out
loserkid114: i start undressing u kissing ur chest on my way down
*****: I moan and grab your hair
loserkid114: i lay u on my bed and whip out my 8 in. dick
*****: that’s it?
*****: OH WAIT iNCHES
*****: I WAS THINKGIN CENTINMNETRRS
*****: SORRY
loserkid114: ok?
loserkid114: i slip into ur hot pussy
loserkid114: i start working u up and down
*****: I maoan
loserkid114: feeling ur hot breasts as i push it in deeper
*****: I moan!
loserkid114: i go faster as u moan louder
*****: I DO MOAN LOUDER
loserkid114: i start sucking on ur hard nipples
*****: Guess waht I dO?
*****: MOAN
loserkid114: i start going harder and faster
loserkid114: my dick sliding in and out
*****: My legs flail with joy
loserkid114: faster and faster
*****: My butt is a butt
*****: mmm baaaby
*****: I wnat u so bad
loserkid114: i feel u all over
*****: EVERYWHERE!?
loserkid114: everywhere
loserkid114: i squeeze ur ass and push my dick in deeper
loserkid114: ur moans are fueling me
*****: Wow. Even my nose?
*****: (moan)
loserkid114: no
loserkid114: lol
*****: Oh. So NOT everywehre!/
loserkid114: no i guess not
loserkid114: this is pointless
loserkid114: ur not even feeling it at all
*****: I AM TOO
*****: I’m just too aroused. SOrry I’m touching myself too hard
loserkid114: ok
loserkid114: anyway
loserkid114: i pull out my dick and turn u around
loserkid114: i put my dick in ur ass
loserkid114: and start working u
*****: I grab my mickey mouse electric toothbrush and put it on my clit as i grab your stomach
loserkid114: ?
loserkid114: ok u do me now
loserkid114: cuz i dont no what to say
*****: my ass slowly consumes your entire body then my sphincter crushes you causing a fatal 56 hp damage infliction
*****: did i send u my pic?
loserkid114: no?
*****: http://www.rbcglobenet.com/images/Bike Chick.jpg
*****: Do you like it right thurr?
loserkid114: sure
*****: So you’re inside my ass…Go
loserkid114: shut up
*****: Its becuz i’m black isn tit?
loserkid114: no its cuz ur bein dumb
*****: sorry

I like to think that we’ve become less sophisticated in the years since then. I blame it on a broken heart inflicted by that masked Casanova – loserkid114. What was wrong? Too much woman for you?

If you thought that was great, you probably need therapy. But fortunately this was only a warm-up for our true opus, which will be posted shortly. Stay tuned!


3 Comments »

  1. Alyssa says:

    *****: my ass slowly consumes your entire body then my sphincter crushes you causing a fatal 56 hp damage infliction

    genius. if you don’t get into Harvard they don’t know what amazing is.

  2. Pete says:

    Thank you, but I don’t think Harvard is quite ready for the likes of us

  3. Annalisa says:

    Literally laughed until I got teary-eyed. Bravo!

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