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This Day In History

August 17, 2009 by nick

August 17th. Arguably the best day in human history.

In the year 2674, humanity stumbled upon an ancient energy source on Saturn’s moon, Titan. This energy source allowed for traveling between stars. After another decade, humanity created a portal which they believed would transport them to a paradise. Unfortunately, it sent them back to 1999. Humanity sought to undo history and help N’Sync turn out on the top spot of TRL (Total Request Live). As the elite squad of soldiers burst into MTV studios in New York, they subdued the guards and made their way to the inner chamber.

When they arrived, the holograms of audience members vanished at a gesture from Grand Vizier Daly. His chest erupted into tentacles and sucked the life out of the intrepid explorers of our future. With the sweet nectar of their anachronistic bodies, OverCarson subdued the governments of the end of the 20th century and subjugated all of humanity.

All hail Carson.

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