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This Day In History

August 29, 2009 by nick

muhaliRepeatedly, the day of August 29th has had a tremendous influence on the course of human history: The beginning of the 7 Years War in 1756, Brazil achieves independence from Portugal in 1825, the United Kingdom Abolished slavery in 1833, and the Second Battle of Bull Run in 1862. And who could forget the last Beatles concert, or the official demise of the Soviet Communist Party?

Still, all of these pale in comparison to the significance of this day in 1805. Muhammad Ali Pasha continued to consolidate his new dynasty in Egypt. On his side was his ingenuity, and willingness to reform. Many do not know, however, that he also possessed a secret advantage.

Beneath the ruins of the Library of Alexandria, Pasha’s retainers discovered a glowing blue portal. On the other side, they discovered the Golden City of Detroit in the year 2015. The reader is certainly familiar with the unprecedented success seen in this once-failed city after discovering a new form of energy unleashed upon the crucifixion of Chevrolet spokesman Howie Long. This energy allowed the carving out of an independent nation in America’s heartland, ruled by Joe Dumars. Pasha’s explorers managed to trade gold to an amused Jim Leyland in his holographic compound in exchange for several plasma rifles, which were more than enough to subdue neighboring 19th century territories.


  1. Some Dude in Fairfie says:

    You need a Guest appearance from UB…that will make people sit up and listen!!!

  2. Swifty says:

    I cannot help but agree with this

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