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This Day In History

November 24, 2009 by nick

November 24th.

Sure, you’re walking around thinking about how great November 24th, 2009 is. You’re probably thinking that it’s the best November 24th ever. Probably even better than the one in 1966 when New York experienced the smoggiest day in its history (Yep! That’s right! Even smoggier than December 15th, 1952!) (I know, we couldn’t believe it either!).

But that’s where you’re wrong. What’s your fucking problem? The greatest November 24th of all time was easily in 1982.

On this day, Ronald Reagan once and for all proved that Boy George is in fact heterosexual. After inviting the self-described bisexual pop singer to the White House – Regan claimed it was a political move to “hip up the White House for the younger generation.” – Ronald lured B.G. into the Lincoln bedroom with promises of showing him relics of the nation’s past. Instead, he dismissed his secret service agents and presented his genitals, demanding that Boy George do his “patriotic duty” and fellate “[him] until [his] eyes rolled back in [his] fucking skull.”

Boy George, of course, refused. This inspired him to write the hit song “Karma Chameleon”, which revolutionized how America conceived of lizards in pop culture. Geico readily acknowledges their gecko mascot would not exist if not for this song. Boy George willingly changed his colours [for the] good of the nation.

Click here to learn more about how Boy George’s refusal proves his heterosexuality. No one could refuse R.R.!

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