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Gods of the Cinema: “Mega Shark v. Giant Octopus”

March 19, 2011 by nick

With a title like that, one really must temper expectations. An oceanographer lady and her fat associate stumble upon enormous sea monsters, but nobody else will believe her, despite the obvious evidence – like, an oil rig being destroyed by a giant octopus. So a team of scientists sets out to do…something. The dialogue varies between predictable and painfully terrible, and the CG is reminiscent of the cut scenes from the original Age of Empires game.

Best Moment: Lightning strikes by a CG airplane. When a random passenger gets up, the stewardess tells him to sit down, to which he retorts, “I’m getting married in two days.” Then he turns and looks out the window to say, “Holy shit!” as a gigantic shark eats the airplane out of the sky.

Final Verdict:

By Jupiter’s cock, this film dishonors the House of Batiatus.

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