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Gods of the Cinema: “The Human Centipede”

March 19, 2011 by nick

Whether you’ve seen the movie or not, loved it or hated it, it’s hard to deny the cultural resonance that the film “The Human Centipede” has had within the last year or so. The plot is as follows: two American tourists get stranded somewhere in the German countryside, they end up being taken in by an evil surgeon who has romantic aspirations of conjoining three humans together by the digestive tract and cutting out the ligaments of their knees thereby creating a human centipede.

He succeeds, attaching the two tourists to a feisty young Japanese man. Once the surgery has been completed the movie suddenly turns into a fifteen minute slapstick dog-show of three humans doing every action you would imagine to be difficult while being conjoined by the poop chute. The film ends when some local police officers (who both look like Kenny Rogers goes street magic) get wise to the evil surgeon’s plan, and end up fatally shooting the doctor as he shoots them, presumably fatally as well.

I am omitting a lot of the ins and outs; such as the fate of the centipede, all the pooping, and minutes upon minutes of hot ass-to-mouth action. The movie is by no stretch great, but is hardly the all out flop that its reputation seems to deem it as. “The Human Centipede” has a beginning, middle, and end. The cinematography and sound editing was surprisingly competent as well.

Final Verdict
This movie is far from good and no longer fit for the arena, but still may live to serve the gods and the House of Batiatus. This film henceforce shall serve as the Doctore of our beloved house!

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